


Tiring

by lalarose



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalarose/pseuds/lalarose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had a crush on the other but couldn't tell him and he feared being judged, it was just so tiring after a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tiring

**Author's Note:**

> This is a incomplete work of a one direction story, I been working on it for 2 years off and on but I just never got around to finishing it because I couldn't think of what to write. You all might like it so comment, kudos, etc whichever I guess.
> 
> The title I really couldn't think of because I didn't know what to make the title.

The guys were basically running away from the screaming fans, ducking into the building with their bodyguards blocking off the entrance.

They slowed to a briskwalk, only relaxing when the high-pitched screams and cries began to fade into the background.

“That was hectic,” Harry spoke first, his voice relieved despite the big smile on his lips. It was always so evident that Harry loved the fans and the boy band lifestyle.

Louis draped himself over Harry and pressed a loud smacking kiss on his cheek, avoiding the swat that came afterwards, simply wearing a grin in amusement.

“Oh we know you enjoyed it, the fans throwing themselves at you,” He caroled out loud, laughing while he darted away from Harry’s flailing hands.

Liam watched on with a content look, eyes lingering on Louis then quickly focusing on Niall, who currently had cheeks puffed out with food. Liam chuckled as he poked Niall’s cheek, who turned to him with a surprised look.

“What are you doing?” Niall mumbled, but due to all the food in his mouth, his question just came out sounding like “Whtreudong?”

Liam shook his head at Niall, a laugh slipping out of his throat, “Nothing, Nialler, just continue eating.”

Liam wasn’t ready to tell the other guys about the feelings he had hidden deep in his heart, letting himself focus and worried about ruining the band with his little crush. So what if sometimes his gaze would get caught on the swell of Louis's backside? Liam swallowed hard and quickly averted his eyes, pulling himself out of that dangerous train of thought. He refused to let himself go down that path again. With a smile on his lips, Liam followed the rest of his band to the rooms that they would be staying in for the night.

-

The evening found Liam sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard with a book in hand. He was looking at the words but not quite focusing on them; his mind was preoccupied on something, or well _someone_ else. That someone that was currently across the hall from him in Harry’s room. Or was it his and Harry’s room? Liam didn't know and didn't even want to find out. He didn’t know but felt pain pang at his heart at the thought. Liam knew that he wasn’t at all the touchy-feeling type like Harry and Louis were and kept his feelings to himself, trying to act as normal as possible.

Liam gave a frustrated grunt and laid the book down; he had been reading the same sentence for the last ten minutes and _still_ had no idea what it said. He got up from his bed and headed towards the hallway, fully intending to take a walk alone to clear his mind. But of course, with his luck, that was never going to happen.

As Liam was heading down the stairs towards the lobby, he heard footsteps behind him but ignored it for a while until he felt an arm slide around his shoulders.

“Liam! Where are you going at this time of night?” Louis’s voice was cheerful and carefree, his eyes bright as he smiled at Liam.

“Just for a walk, to clear my head,” Liam answered honestly, mentally adding 'of you' to the end of his sentence. He smiled at Louis and tried not to let his emotions show on his face.

Louis’s eyebrow rose in question and continued walking with his arm wrapped around Liam, “Mm? Why the long face then? Are you nervous or something? You know, we aren’t doing anything for a few days so there isn’t much to worry about.” He poked Liam’s cheek, his smile wide and toothy.

Liam tensed when he felt Louis's finger against his cheek and shot him a weak smile, “Not nervous, Louis, just thinking. Fresh air does a man good.” Liam peered at Louis, quickly changing the subject and turning the focus to Louis, “and why are you up, hmm?”

Louis paused for a second and replied, “Thinking like you, I guess. It’s a nice night to do so. I think I’m going to head to bed now though! Sweet dreams, Daddy Direction!” He laughed afterwards and Louis turning around to head back to his hotel room, leaving Liam standing alone in the empty lobby.

Liam’s shoulders slumped as his heart threatened to burst out of his chest. Now he _really_ needed to clear his head of any Louis thoughts. He wanted to avoid of thinking of Louis and decided to focus on a song to write to clear his muddy thoughts. Liam nodded to himself, that would work. He’d start working on a song and he would be able to ignore everything else. Liam turned and headed back to his hotel room, knowing he wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight in favour of writing.

-

He awoke with several sheets of paper surrounding his desk, full of unfinished lyrics that he had seemly threw to the side. In attempts to dig deeper into the lyrics, he unintentionally brought up the one person that he was desperately trying to avoid thinking about.

Liam rubbed his eyes and moved to look at the time, letting out a soft sigh when he saw that it was twelve in the afternoon and no one seemed to have bothered to wake him up. “Worry later, and shower now,” he thought aloud while heading to the bathroom, eager to wash the scent of pencils and eraser shavings off his hands.

Once finished with the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist and using another to dry his hair, Liam moved out of the bathroom and froze when he saw Louis sitting on the bed. He swallowed nervously and tried to calm himself down, as if he was used to things like this happening and moved over to a drawer to pick out clothes for himself.

“You slept in rather late,” Louis commented, “what were you doing, writing a song?” He pointed to the papers that littered the room; on the floor, under the bed, on his desk, and many other places.

Liam stilled then gave a sharp nod, as if Louis could see it from where he was sitting on the bed. “Yes…writing helps me settle down.”

He wasn’t going to say anything about the song that he had managed to finish, in which he basically described Louis and he was glad that he managed to hide that sheet of paper before Louis could get his hands on it.

“You could have asked one of us to help you out so you didn’t have to stay up for so long.” Louis eyed the littered sheets of paper, kicking at some of them with a small smile. “I could have helped you.”

“No, Louis, really it's fine. I just needed to do it on my own. Get things off my mind, y'know what I’m saying?” Liam turned around, letting a smile form on his lips while moving to start gathering the rest of the sheets to throw away, all the while making sure Louis didn’t open a specific one up and see out what he had truly been writing about.

“I get what you’re saying, some alone time without all the noise that tends to follow?” Louis moved to help pick up the sheets of paper, not opening any of them up with Liam carefully watching him just in case he did.

“Mm.” Was the only sound that came out of Liam’s mouth, having finally finished up the cleaning and glanced at Louis. “So why are you here? Shouldn’t you be off doing something else with Harry?” It stung him to say that, but Harry and Louis were almost always together and off by themselves giggling in some corner like schoolgirls.

Liam took a seat in his chair away from Louis who had migrated back to the bed. “I’m not _always_ with Harry you know. Can’t I visit you? I mean I’ll leave if you want me to.” Louis arched an eyebrow in question.

Mouth opened to reply then closed to think for a moment, his facial expression going blank while searching for the words in his head. “Well usually you are with him; I was just surprised you decided to visit me.” A small pout appeared on his lips while saying this. “I mean it’s not often you visit me anyways, just… surprised.”

“Well, I just wanted to stop by. I’ll talk to you later.” A small sad smile on his lips before it vanished and he opened the hotel room, closing the door behind him.

Liam buried his face into his hands with a heavy sigh; he really didn’t know how to act around Louis anymore without revealing his feelings. He started taking deep breathes to calm himself and trying to avoid thinking about the older band mate, sometimes he was scared to go to sleep besides he dreamed of Louis with his bright smile and the stubble on his chin, sometimes his dreams spiralled out of control which woke him up threatening to spill out Louis’s name.

A soft groan escaped him with head shaking to get rid of those thoughts that filled his brain and overwhelmed him, hands gripping his hair while continue to get rid of the images that now filled his mind. Shoulders slumped when they faded, a soft grunt slipping from his lips.

“Guess I should head out for the day.” He let out a sigh and started slipping on his shoes, tugging on a hat to hide his curly hair then moving to the door, heading into the hallway with a deep breath and telling himself to stay calm.

-

The boys sat in the van with Liam sitting next to Harry with Louis and Zayn sitting across from them then Niall sitting in the front seat.

Liam decided to pull his hat down over his eyes to avoid staring at Louis and getting caught doing it, as Louis was currently wearing his black-rimmed glasses and that always made him a bit _nervous_ when seeing him in them. Desperately looking out the black tinted window and letting his mind wander to the lyrics he wrote, a gentle small smile sliding up onto his lips, quite proud of himself for writing it.

He was startled away from his thoughts when Harry poked his side with a slight raise of his eyebrow, jerking his head towards Louis and leading down to whisper into Liam’s ear.

“ _Is there a reason you’re ignoring Lou for a reason?”_ Harry seemed to harshly whisper that into his ear, an almost warning tone held to his voice.

Liam’s body tensed when hearing the whisper and giving a light shake of his head, while continuing to look out the window nervously licking his lips. He would tell Harry later in private what was going on, but for now he was going to be calm and collected turning his head to Louis to give a smile to the other guy, which managed to sooth Harry for the time being.

His hat was pulled off his head by a hand was he blinked in surprise at Louis who decided to put it on his head before sticking his tongue out.

“Look at me! I’m Liam, just without the curly hair!” Laughter filled the van as the tension seemed to just fade away, with Liam smiling at Louis then trying to get his hat back while laughing.

Many hours later after having finished a concert, they were in their hotel again and all of them were in one room. Niall sitting on the floor shoving Nandos into his mouth, Zayn sitting next to Niall with a bit of amusement on his face, Harry sat on the couch with Liam with arm wrapped around his shoulder.

Liam was a bit surprised at the action giving a quick glance to Louis who was sitting on a chair by himself, who seemed to be almost _glaring_ at Harry with jealousy in his eyes but Liam waved it off as his imagination.

As why would Louis have mutual feelings? That wasn’t just possible, he had Eleanor and well Liam had…no one now the relationship as his relationship had lasted all that long. Tongue darting out to give a small lick to his lips and Harry’s grip on his shoulder slightly tightened, a soft noise of surprise slipping from Liam’s mouth. He shot Harry a confused look and soon grew uncomfortable, removing hand from his shoulder and standing.

“I’m heading to my room for the night…knock on the door if you need me.” His head cocked to one side and he left the room, ignoring Harry and Louis's gazes on his back as the door closed behind him.

He placed his head on the wall outside of the room with hand clenched into a fist and resisting the urge to scream his out his frustrations. Liam shook his head and ran fingers through his curly hair, deciding to head to the bathroom to calm his mind and his aching heart.

-

The weeks passed with little progress though Harry started bugging him more often and it took all of his nerves not to snap at him. One day when he was least expecting it, Harry snuck into Liam's room and crawled into his bed.

The next morning Liam woke up to warmth against his back alongside some kind of lump in the lower regions, he froze for several minutes with his mind wondering if a fan had sneaked in and crawled into bed. That couldn't happen though there were bodyguards all over the place to protect them, could it? Mouth opened to call out before a familiar voice spoke up almost instantly calming Liam's beating heart.

“Mmh...Liam, why are you up so early? Lemme sleep more...”Harry mumbled with his sleepy voice and pulled Liam closer to him, rubbing face against his backside and letting out a purr-like sound to voice his contentment.

A growl built up in his throat before he swallowed and calmly removed Harry's hands from his body, rubbing at his forehead as he felt an early morning headache start to throb. Liam headed to the bathroom and popped some aspirin with a quick drink from the sink, looking up at the mirror as he was greeted with a pale face. He let out a groan and splashed water on his face, he needed to cheer up and try not to have a nervous breakdown.

When he left the bathroom he was greeted with Harry sitting up with only sheets and stared at him, a sleepy expression worn before it faded to be serious. Harry ruffled his own hair for a moment and sighed.

"We need to talk," Harry said solemnly. He sat with the sheets covering him, not even bothering to put any clothing on, and looked at Liam.

Liam rubbed his forehead to push the pounding headache away. “What's there to talk about? Everything is fine.” He looked straight into Harry's eyes, and sharply looked to the ground to avoid showing how tired he was.

Harry's eyes narrowed before his hand shot out to grip Liam's wrist and pull him onto the bed, and he stared Liam dead in the eyes. “You haven't been sleeping comfortingly lately, you've been avoiding Louis and you look like your ready to collapse. There's the problem.” He harshly said and released Liam's wrist, staring at him with a blank expression with a tint of worry.

Liam sighed heavily and shook his head, “I'm fine. End of the discussion and get out of my room Harry, I don't have to tell you anything.” He pointed at the door with a glare that held fear behind it, though Harry wouldn't see it, as Liam tried to keep his focus without breaking down.

A huff was heard as Harry grabbed the sheets and wrapped it around himself, and deciding to steal them as he headed towards the door. “You know, it won't be only me that will bother you if you don't sort this out, Liam.” With those words, he left the room almost slamming the door as he did.

Hands clenched into fists as he slammed fists onto the bed with a choked sob but no tears came out while his body shook with suppressed sobs. He simply laid there for at least twenty minutes until he calmed enough and in that instance decided to continue his lyric writing. Slowly he stood up and headed over to his desk, hunching over in the seat as he went to work.

 

_You're laugh fills the sky and sends shivers down my spine_

_but you never glance my way with as the heart aches._

_The sight of your arm around him makes the hand clench without the ability to reach out and touch you._

_Why won't you notice me? I wish you would just turn around to see the look._

_Ahhh.... how long will this last? The heart can't take much more of this, alongside the brain who doesn't know what to follow._

_The despair with a cage that locks away hiding what feeling is held by your clutch, it makes my voice shout to the sky._

 

Once again his hands smelt of pencil shavings with some ink staining them, making a heavy sigh escape his body. He slipped out of the chair and collapsed onto his sheet-less bed, glancing at the clock as it lit up showing twelve o'clock at night. The cloud of sleepiness faded leaving Liam awake with his thoughts wandering high slipping into unknown heights and daydreams, before they were brushed away and his feet carried him to the hallway. He glanced around while deciding to take a short walk to calm his beating heart.

Unexpectedly his vision blurred and the hall seemed to tilt without warning, as if he was walking down a twisted hallway that his soul could get lost in. A soft fear-filled whimper crawled out of his throat but was silenced, as he hoped for slumber as the light dimmed and his eyelids started to shut. He heard his name being called, along with the sound of feet thumping across the floor, before warmth met his side and he felt himself relax against it. It might not be safe but Liam didn't care; he just wanted to sleep.

He awoke a day later with a dry throat with two people sitting in chairs next to his bed, one blonde hair and the other brown; simply dozing while breathing in sync. Liam made a soft strangled sound which woke Niall up and looked at him with a relieved smile.

“Liam! You're awake. I found you collapsed in the hallway and had to get Paul to carry you back.

What were you thinking wandering about with a fever.” Niall grumbled before sighing in annoyance. “Now I sound like a mother hen, ah fuck.”

Liam weakly smiled and started to sit up resulting in Harry waking up and immediately pushing him back down with annoyance in his features. He made a noise of protest but Harry ignored it before flicking Liam's nose, “Now, you really have to tell me what's wrong and I won't take 'Nothing' for a answer Liam!” Harry hissed out to avoid Niall from overhearing.

“You'll have to deal with the answer nothing, because I'm not telling you anything!” He said thickly, resisting the urge to yell that he wanted to be left alone.

Harry flinched and grasped Niall's arm pulling him awake and out of the room, a heated glare aimed at Liam knowing he'll get answers soon...even if he forces it out of Liam. When something troubles one band member, it troubles them all.


End file.
